so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
