That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
