Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
