and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
