It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
