I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
