Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
