why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
