I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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