Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
