she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
