Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
