Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
