I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
