god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
