I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
