Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
