I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
