I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
