I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Houston, we have a blender
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
