U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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