I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
