i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
