Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
