I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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