do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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