So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
