i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
