someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
