I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
