This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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