She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
