don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
