Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
