You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize