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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize