Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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