Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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