There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
