I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
