Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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