i don't like sucking hair
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
