At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
