I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
