If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
