Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
