My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
