PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
