I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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