OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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