C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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