He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
