Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
