why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
