My room smells like vodka and shame
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
