oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
