she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
