it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
