i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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