Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
