Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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