omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
